Learning to Stay

Amidst a sea of dusty vases, outdated computer components and clothes I haven’t worn in 5 years, I marvel at how much junk two people can accumulate in a decade when they have a house with enough storage. “Stick it in the closet.” Now I am finding I can’t even remember where most of this stuff came from.

Ironically, I am reading Getting Unstuck: Breaking Old Patterns and Encountering Naked Reality by Pema Chodron. Ha. It is all about learning to stay. Meaning, essentially, being present in the moment. Staying with a thought or a feeling instead of our natural tendency to push uncomfortable feelings aside as the path to understanding them and then resolving them. This can be learned through the daily practice of meditation, which I have been doing now for several months. I have actually been doing it off and on for decades but never in any sort of disciplined way. Like anything else, it is difficult without dedicated practice.

I found this book downloaded into my ipod, which was downloaded into my computer’s itunes presumably by my daughter…so I am reading it by “accident”. As you know, there are no accidents. The very idea that I would be reading about learning to stay while making one of my life’s major moves is yet another testament to that.

I will share with you one of Pema’s great lines from this book that struck me last night.

Beware of thoughts that become a doorway to emptiness.

I thought it was particularly apropos given my current feelings of being out of control in the chaos of my usually orderly house.

The next time I talk about moving, will someone please hit my thumb with a hammer to remind me what it’s like.

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